6 Easy Ways to Help Your Junior High Schooler Succeed

Janice Stenglein
JH/HS Assistant Principal

I always thought parenting would get easier as my children got older. However, after raising two children through junior high and high school, I quickly learned I was wrong. Junior high can slam kids with challenge after challenge on a daily basis, and it is difficult to watch as your children struggle. Junior high success is possible, though. I have worked as a secondary teacher, middle school Sunday School teacher, and scout leader, and I learned a few things along the way. I am sharing those here in hopes that you read something that helps your family. Here are six easy tips that can help your junior high schooler be more successful. 

6 Tips for Junior High Success 

Drop your student off at school as early as possible. I started dropping my son off at school early after reading the tip in a book. I had been dropping him off about 5 minutes before he had to be to class, even though the school allowed him to be there 20 minutes early. The idea behind an earlier drop off is that if students have extra time, they will be able to make it to their lockers, say hello to friends, and shift into school-mode before class starts. I implemented this change without telling my son I was doing it or giving him any reason for it. As far as he knew, we were just getting to school earlier. After a couple of weeks I asked him if the earlier drop off time had helped him, and he said it had helped tremendously. Of course, you may not be the one who takes your child to school, but this idea can be used outside of school as well. Make sure you give your junior higher time to transition before school, youth group, church, and where appropriate. 

Have your junior higher repeat instructions. There is a lot of truth to the stereotype that junior high kids only hear part of what you say. As a teacher, I can attest to this. One way to avoid miscommunication and misunderstanding is to have your son or daughter repeat instructions back to you. This helps in more than one way. Repeating instructions helps ensure that your child heard them, but knowing you often request directions be repeated also helps train your child to listen more closely. 

Limit screen-time. Experts seem to agree that too much screen-time is detrimental to kids. I don’t need experts to tell me that, though. I have seen it in my own children and in my students. I imagine you have as well. When my children were in junior high, they got roughly 5-8 hours of screen-time a week, which was less than most of their friends. We enforced this with screen time controls on their phones. 

Explain that awkwardness and junior high go hand-in-hand. I have worked with a lot of junior highers in my life and a common thread in most situations was feeling awkward, or like they did not fit in with their peers. I have had kids tell me they thought they were ugly, weird, awkward, insufficient, and just different. When I think back to junior high school, I remember a time filled with self-doubt, self-loathing, and angst. I truly believe that we help our children when we share our own negative experiences. Too many kids

believe that they are alone in their self-perceived suffering. I wish more of them understood that this is a passing time which, more often than not, is downright difficult. Open up to them and let them know the struggle is real, but it is also common. 

Listen to them. One mistake I have seen many parents make is not adjusting their parenting as their children grow and mature. You might want your four-year-old to obey right away without question, but does that make sense 100 percent of the time with a teenager? I wanted my children to be obedient, but I also wanted them to be able to problem solve, think critically, make decisions independently, and disagree respectfully. That last item might rub you the wrong way, but I believe it is a vital skill best learned at home. When my children were in junior high, there were already topics they knew more about than I did. For example, if we are working in the garden and I told my son to squash a bug, he might have responded by explaining to me that the bug was actually beneficial to the garden. I might still have wanted the bug gone, but I allowed him to make his case, possibly changing my mind. I know many parents who demand first time obedience from teens at all times. I am thankful that my own mother allowed me to develop critical thinking skills and the ability to think my way through situations. 

Encourage them daily. Do not give your junior highers false praise; they are too smart for phoniness. Instead, offer your son or daughter daily encouragement. If they have success, praise them. If they experience failure, let them know they can try again. Tell them to have a good day and encourage them to look for positives. When they struggle, remind them that struggles make us stronger and tell them you believe in them. Make sure they know you are on their team, even when you are struggling to get along. 

I hope something on this list has resonated with you. If you disagree with something here, that is fine. There is plenty of room for differences in parenting styles between friends. Parenting tweens and teens can be difficult. Let us build each other up in love.